The same problems keep coming back.
They rarely started with you.
In love, in money, in health, in the way you relate to people. Some patterns keep returning, and they don't depend on you alone. Family constellations help you see where they come from and find your place from there.
Free, over video. It's just a conversation to meet and see whether it makes sense.
Concrete situations people arrive with.
- 01 Relationships keep ending the same way, or you keep attracting the same kind of person.
- 02 With money there's always the same pattern: it comes in and quickly slips away, or you can't ask for what you're worth.
- 03 Your body gives you signals, a tiredness or a heaviness that make you sense there's something more to it.
- 04 There's a family subject no one talks about, and it weighs on you without you quite knowing why.
- 05 You know what you need to decide, and you haven't been able to decide for a long time.
More often than not, what hurts most has to do with love, money or health. And, more often than not, it didn't start with you either: positions, loyalties and unresolved matters pass from one generation to the next and keep acting without anyone noticing.
Family constellations, explained plainly.
It's a way of looking at your situation as part of a system, your family, rather than in isolation. The starting premise: what goes unresolved in one generation tends to show up in the next, as behaviour that repeats.
In practice, in a one-to-one online session, we give a place to the people and the facts involved in whatever you bring. Seeing your situation laid out in front of you, rather than inside your head, tends to make visible what was running unseen: who's carrying what, what place you occupy, what you're doing for someone without realising it.
You don't have to tell your whole story, or relive what hurt. We work with a few concrete facts and with what emerges from them.
- It is not psychotherapy and does not replace it. I'm a facilitator, not a psychologist. This work sits well beside therapy, often alongside it.
- It is personal development work, not a promise of a miracle result.
Inês Gonçalves de Oliveira
I've always been a sensitive person: I notice what's going on in a room, what sits beneath a conversation, what isn't said out loud. It was that perception that brought me to family constellations, first looking for answers to questions of my own.
I also have a background in Industrial Engineering and Management, from the University of Coimbra and the University of Tulsa. For a long time I thought the sensitive part and the analytical part lived in separate worlds. In this work, I found them together.
I trained in family constellations and in systemic intelligence applied to organisations. I worked for months with real people before opening my calendar to the public.
I share life on @aviajarsozinha and this work on @igoheal_.
From first contact to what happens afterwards.
A 20-minute call
You tell me the situation in two sentences and we see whether this work makes sense for you. If it does, we book the session. If it doesn't, I point you to a more suitable path.
The session
Over video, somewhere you can speak freely. We start with your question, define what you actually want to look at, and work from there. There's nothing to prepare beforehand.
What comes after
This is the part almost no one explains: the effect of a session rarely shows up all at once, in the session. It shows up afterwards: in a conversation that goes differently, in a reaction you no longer had. That's why I don't ask you to rate it on the way out.
Continuing
If you want to go deeper, the work can continue in a longer accompaniment, which we look at together when it makes sense. It's a space to see what has moved and what still asks for room, with nothing fixed in advance.
At no point does your family need to be involved. No one has to know, take part or agree.
This is for you
- You've already been working on yourself (therapy, reading, whatever) and one thing stays exactly the same.
- You can name the concrete situation that bothers you, even if you don't know where it comes from.
- You're willing to look at your own part in the story, not just other people's.
- You want something occasional and specific, not another weekly commitment in the diary.
- You are in or have been in psychotherapy and want something that works from another angle, alongside it.
When other support fits better
- You're going through a crisis right now: intense distress, a recent loss, trauma in an acute phase. In that moment, the right support is a different, closer one.
- You live with a diagnosis that's weighing on you and you don't have care in place. It makes sense to have that first; this can join later, if you want.
- You're hoping someone else will change. Here the work is done with you, and that's what makes it possible.
If you're going through a very hard time, reach for the health support in your country; for immediate risk, your local emergency number. And if you book and I sense you'd be better served by another kind of support, I'll gently say so on our call.
What it costs.
The prices are here, so you can decide calmly.
Intro call
20 minutes · videoWe work out whether this fits your situation. If it doesn't, I point you to a more suitable path.
Book a conversationThree-session process
3 × 1h45 · at your paceMap the situation, constellate, and come back to see what changed and what didn't. Suited to more complex themes, or to those who already have a vision for change and want accompaniment.
Book a conversationSingle session
1h45 · videoOne concrete question, worked through in one go. You can continue afterwards, if you want.
Book a conversationA session lasts 1h45 and is one-off, not a weekly commitment. If your issue is clinical, a psychologist is the right support, and it can sit alongside this work.
What people usually ask me.
Does this have a scientific basis?
Family constellations are a personal development practice, with their own theoretical grounding and results that show up in practice. The scientific research on the method is still limited, and I'd rather tell you that plainly than promise what I can't.
Does it replace therapy? Can I do both?
It doesn't replace it, and you can do both. Many of the people I work with are in or have been in psychotherapy, and the two go well together.
If you're in treatment, it makes sense to tell your therapist you're doing a session: what comes up here can be useful material to work on there.
Do I need to believe in anything for this to work?
You don't need to sign up to any belief. You need to be willing to look at your situation with presence. The work starts from perceiving what's felt in a family system, what often isn't said out loud but is there.
What if I don't feel anything?
It happens, and it doesn't mean the session failed. This work operates mostly at a level that isn't immediately conscious. What moves often shows up in the following weeks: in a conversation that goes differently, in a reaction you no longer had.
What happens on the 20-minute call?
You tell me in two or three sentences what's going on. I ask a few questions and tell you what I think, including if I feel another kind of support would serve you better. If it makes sense for both of us, we book the session right there.
That's all it is: a conversation to meet each other. No sales pitch and no pressure.
Do I have to tell my whole story? And involve my family?
No and no. We work with a few concrete facts about your family system and with the question you bring. There's no need to narrate everything or relive what hurt.
Your family doesn't take part, isn't contacted and doesn't have to know. The session is yours.
How many sessions will I need?
Many people do one session and work from it for months. The three-session process makes sense for more complex themes, or for those who already have a vision for change and want closer accompaniment, a kind of accountability.
Does it work at a distance?
Yes. In a one-to-one session, the work doesn't depend on being in the same room. And it has an advantage: you're at home, somewhere you already feel comfortable, and you can do it from anywhere in the world.
What about my data?
The session isn't recorded. I only keep your contact details and minimal notes to prepare a next session, if there is one. Nothing you say is shared with anyone.
Twenty minutes, free.
You tell me the situation in two sentences and we look together at whether this work makes sense for you. It's a conversation to meet each other, at your pace.
I reply personally, usually the same day. You can also write to hello@inesdeoliveira.com.